Hawkins’s bottle

Half part of Chapter 1 from one of the books I’m working on. The original one is in Spanish, let me know your opinions and constructive criticism. Hope you like it.


Chapter 1

When the story ended she caressed his face gently. He pretended to sleep as he always did so he could play and imagine the story his mom just told him and be the hero in it as soon as she left the room. She stepped out of the bed slowly so he won’t wake up, contemplated him breathing for a second.

– Sweet dreams – She whispered.

Closed the door behind her and he opened his eyes as soon as he heard the click of the latch. He got rid of the bed sheets with emotion and sat on the edge of the bed slowly going down from the bed. He opened the little trunk under the window and got out a little pirate ship made with raft wood his dad had carved for him. The little boat was sailing fiercely the air fighting against the waves and the storm his imagination created, suddenly a thunder got him back to reality.


The ship was sinking. The last wave had broken the cannon doors on the starboard flooding the cellars. A new wave hit the ship on the prow making all the crew shake. Hawkins fall sopped to the wood floor while struggling to grab the greater mast without success. The water hit him once more now on the deck without even knowing where this last wave came from. He cursed his misfortune and the fact of not know how to swim.

The dark sky lightened over his head and clouds where shaking almost as much as the waves. The Fancy could not resist. The Fancy was known because of its strange crew. It had been named that way because it doesn’t had even a cabin, just a bunch of broken hammocks hanging one over the other in the cellars next to the cannons. The potty was extremely small and the ship sails were more patches than sails.

A thunder hit the deck lighting fire at the ropes holding the barrels. Someone slipped falling to the sea and the screams of the Captain Broderick could not be heard any more over the waves and the storm. The Boatswain Milt ran by the main deck towards the hatch disappearing when entered the cellars.

A new wave hit now over port making the casks get released. Hawkins, yet wrestling to stand up, was surprised with one of the drums bouncing and rolling towards him, he tried to cover but a last wave shook the ship making him fly, the barrel hit his head and everything turned black.